Barack Hussein Obama
From Encyclopedia Of Stupid
Barack Hussein Obama is stupid.
Barack Hussein Obama is the only half-white Muslim insurgent to ever launch a popular campaign for leader of the free world. Much to the surprise of at least 49% of American voters, he also won the campaign, officially taking the office of President of the United States away from the loathsome George W. Bush.
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Speeches
Obama's speeches have gained him a good deal of notoriety. They are generally sonorous and coherent, and do not sound like they are being recited by a barely literate chimpanzee. This should have been enough to endear the man to 100% of the electorate, but unfortunately his speeches are also notorious for how vacuous they are. The following is copied verbatim from every speech he has yet to give:
"Now is the time for change, change we can believe in. We are going to change the things that need changing while changing the things that change while changing change. Yes we can, yes we can. Yes we can want to change that which is unchanga - YES WE CAN - ble while yes we can, yes we can. We can rebuild this nation, we have the technology, we can make it better, stronger, faster - changeable - yes we can. Change, change, change."
Supporters
Obama's well-spoken if vague speeches have predictably brought him considerable support from the leftiest of lefties, as well as Hollywood and their usual brilliant ilk. Notable supporters include Opera Winfrey, Ted Kennedy, Al Franken, and of course, Obama's namesakes Osama Bin Laden and Saddam Hussein. We can't list all his supporters here, as the list goes on and on. Perhaps unsurprisingly, Obama enjoys a nearly 100% favorable rating among the mentally challenged.
Accomplishments
Although he held the esteemed office of Senator from the great state of Illinois since 1984, his greatest accomplishment so far appears to have been in staying the fuck away from Illinois' goofy-ass governor and polack-in-chief Rod Blogojovich. Despite giving it their best shot, even the most ardent Obama supporters come up short finding any other accomplishments he made while in office. Searching Google for them only leads to sites discussing donkey shows.
Although his record on actual legislation is painfully thin, he has managed a number of personal successes, all of which were brought to light by America's diligent Press Corps, including, but not limited to:
- Being a member of a church that espouses racist black revolutionary theology
- Getting a free house from felonious real estate developer Tony Rezko
- Launching his political career at the house of hippie terrorist faggot Bill Ayers
- Having sex with Marilyn Monroe
- Becoming president
- Marrying down a bit, I mean shit, he could have totally got a hot white woman
- I'm serious, did you see the dress that cunty horseface wore to the inauguration???
- Managed to have an orgasm in said woman at least twice, producing two daughters
Regardless of his previous record, after his election the entire country rallied behind Obama, Republicans and Democrats alike, because everybody in the fucking country had lost most of their retirement money and they were hopeful that something, ANYTHING would bring about change they could believe in. Even if it's just some pocket change.
Worldwide Reaction
Almost exclusively the reaction of world leaders to Obama and his election to office of the President was one of extreme relief. Like most Americans, they were thrilled to have a leader of the pre-eminent nation on the planet who could properly pronounce nuclear. In addition, the world was pretty much sick and tired of all the goddamn war that had been going on.
Naturally, Obama's reception among the Jews is somewhat less enthusiastic.
Spending
Upon being elected, Barack with his puppeteer Pelosi set about spending money. Their goal was not to spend a little money. Their goal was not to spend a lot of money. Their goal was to spend every single dollar every American currently had or would ever earn. By the third month of his presidency Obama had succeeded in spending more than all presidents before him put together. By the end of his first year in office he will have spent more than all the presidents that follow him will be capable of.
Side note: Upon taking office Obama set a new policy that the White House could only be heated by burning stacks of 100 dollar bills. If successful, to keep one of his campaign promises, burning stacks of money will be used nation wide in place of dirty dirty coal.
