Global Warming
From Encyclopedia Of Stupid
| This article is the product of a Good Effort. Unfortunately, effort is only half the equation. The other half is being funny. Please make this article funny. |
Global Warming is stupid.
It may in fact be more stupid than its creator ever even dreamed.
History
Al Gore, or Mr. Internet as he is sometimes known,
while studying the Ecology of the Moon Sometime before 1975
for his predestined roll as Emperor of the Moon,
made a startling discovery...
While leafletting the local Wal-Mart in the cause of covering windsheild wipers
with paper, he noticed the lack of a crowd. The lack of helicopters and news media
all about. Noone gave a damn what he thought. He had never once done anything of note.
(Besides bang Kipper Gore. Totally hot.) The world would surely forget him once he made his ascent into the Hierarchy of the Moon.
He soon found that actual problems of the world: famine, disease, homelessness, poor
economy, genocide, the Catholic Church, sodomy,racism, Bill Gates,
Bono, scientology,
MTV, fascist liberal media propoganda, Snickers Bars,
and American Idol were not
only problems to large to care about, but would be really really hard to solve.
So he invented his own
The Idea
The Idea is credited largely to his massive ego, fueled only by acts of horrible evil,
and Cheese Whiz being squirted onto his over-sized nipples in a counter-clockwise
motion. Because of this, he was driven to come up with something so rediculous, so huge,
and so Scientifical, that is could not only never be solved, but never be disproven.
How
With the help of famed Deuchebag nerd Bill Gates, after 2 years and 13,234 cans
of Cheese Whiz later, they had come up with a brilliant idea. Say that Aerosol cans,
automobiles, and cow farts were destroying our environment! It was incredibly brilliant and
foolproof. It would place the blame on society, (the perfect scapegoat) and make Him
Famous in the process. First of course, Bill Gates used some of his Microsoftian intelligence
to build robot scientist who of course (biased as robots are) sided with Gore,
and of course provide "proof". (Also known as a CBS Special, and an official OPRAH
seal of approval.) The public immediately took an interest in the idea of saving the Earth.
Largely due to the fact that the people of Earth are idiots.
The Oprah herself is credited with
setting the stage for the discovery of the
harm to our environment by first, allowing Al
Gore to be born, and second, Allowing him to live.
In this way, Oprah is credited with a little of
everything.
Of coures, wanting the fame and glory all to himself, Al Gore had to find
a way to keep Bill Gate's mouth shut. Al, being no idiot when it comes to
matters of scientifical stuff, developed the Windows OS. He of course promptly
handed the technology over to Billy Boy for the price of total and absolute obedience.
should you see manbearpig in the wild,
Do not Try to be brave. Run away. And shoot it with a gun.
A big freakin' gun
-Al Gore
