Joseph Smith
From Encyclopedia Of Stupid
Joseph Smith is stupid
Born Sometime before 1975 to a hamster and a goat, Joseph Smith created the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, also known as Mormons. He fooled people into believing that only he could stick his head into a hat and read ancient gold texts that were given to him by a naked Native American guy that Jim Morrison saw in the desert while popping magic mushrooms.
Only Joseph Smith could read these tablets and if anyone else stuck their head into the hat, all they saw was rabbit shit. This made many Mormons mad and pissed off at Joseph Smith and so they told him to leave New England. He, of course, was smoking his shoe laces that had been dipped in axle grease and thought that the New Englanders were daft buggers.
Then one day, Joseph Smith was told by God to take his merry band of followers, mostly existing of fucktards, asshats and retards to a magical place called Utah. So for days and days, the Mormons walked and walked. Many got tired and stopped to open convenience stores. Many others converted along the way to Catholicism.
Joseph Smith led the remaining Mormons to the "Great Salt Lake" of Utah and many tried to drink the water but found out that it made people go crazy and the need to divulge in the practice of one man for many women in a marriage type situation. Many people that didn't believe in Joseph Smith were his illegitimate children he fathered on the way with Germans.
Joseph Smith wanted the Mormons to believe that Saint Peter was really a white rabbit and they should all listen to Jefferson Airplane records while living in the desert. Many historians say that this is how Charles Manson obtained his idea of "Helter Skelter."
Joseph Smith had many contributions to the existence of everyday life in the United States. One of which is considered to be a past-time of Americans known as Anal Sex. His other contributions are: roaming the United States in recreational vehicles, drinking salt water, and sticking heads into hats.
He died in 1984 and was buried in a Chevrolet Cheville.
Today, Mormons celebrate not only his birthday by engaging in Anal Sex, but they celebrate the crossing of the American Plains by walking through streams and eating rabbit shit and dingleberries.
If a Mormon should cross your path, throw an American flag over you and sing "Oh Canada!" and they will run like the Devil is chasing them. For some reason, researchers have not developed any data on why "Oh Canada!" is an effective way to rid your home and garden of Mormons but they spend tons and tons of Government money in research.
Please do not donate to the Joseph Smith Scholarship Fund as this is a ruse to really breed rabbits with owls. Thus creating the next generation of Mormons and also a rare breed of Americans called "Basketball Players."
Many Americans have tried to set Mormons adrift on ice burgs, but they keep on coming back because they have the technology to reproduce at a high rate. This rate of reproduction is 15,000 Mormons per day.
Joseph Smith is stupid because he has not only fucked up America by creating a religion that no one understands and no one really cares about because Americans do not like anal sex and drinking salt water.
