SpongeBob SquarePants
From Encyclopedia Of Stupid
SpongeBob SquarePants is stupid.
SpongeBob Squarepants is a gay sponge who lives next to Patrick, a retarded starfish, and Squidward, an asshole. These three characters represent the characteristics of people who watch SpongeBob as they are either gay, retarded, an asshole, or a gay retarded asshole.
Contents |
The Characters
SpongeBob SquarePants
The main character. He owns a cat (it's a snail that meows, but who the fuck cares) which makes him gay. He works at a fast food joint (haha what a loser) where he delivers service as good as you can find at Subway. He likes to run around naked while getting stung by jellyfish in his free time.
Patrick
The Retard. He lives under a rock because he is too much of a dumbass to get a door or window. He gets SpongeBob to engage in silly antics that annoy Squidward. Exhausted after performing a bunch of dumb stunts, he likes to relax with SpongeBob by having hilarious homosexual sex (not unlike the guys on Jackass). During this romp Patrick will affectionately call him "SpoogeBoob" lol.
Squidward
The Asshole. At first glance one would think he is more intelligent than SpongeBob or Patrick, but if he's so smart, why the hell would he live between two ignorant anuses like these two? It's because he wants something to bitch about while he writes music on his clarinet. Fucking Squidward.
Sandy
The Vagina. A squirrel that lives underwater (I know, wtf?). The only female character on the show, at first she liked SpongeBob because he had a job and wasn't as retarded as Patrick or as much of an asshole as Squidward. In a banned episode, she got SpongeBob to nail her by telling him that squirrels like to hide things in the cavities of their bodies. I think you can tell how that went.
Mr. Crabs
The Jew. He owns the fast food resturant that SpongeBob and Squidward work in. Being an incredible cheapskate and a total bastard, he often cuts his employee's paychecks and forcing them to work overtime (like Wal-Mart).
The Show
The show is the most popular show Nickelodeon has had since Rugrats, which is pretty amazing, since Rugrats had nudity.
Fans of the show consist mainly of kids, stoners, and stoned kids. They enjoy watching SpongeBob and Patrick play together, which at least keeps them the hell off my lawn.
DVDs
The fans of the show are willing to shell out $39.95 for 19 episodes of what could have been a mix of bestiality, bondage, and all the drama that comes in a late-night adult program on Showtime but no, they'd rather watch SpongeBob stick his finger in Patrick's butt trying to find the mouthpiece to Squidward's clarinet.
Me Rikey SponjuBob
Apparently there's an overseas ripoff being made by the Golden Horde. It can be seen here.
