Zombie
From Encyclopedia Of Stupid
Zombies are stupid.
See also: Michael Jackson, Paris Hilton
Overview
Zombies are in our times, a rare undead occurence but they are bound to take over the world in the Future.
A zombie is someone who has died, but for some strange reason like insane experiments gone wrong, extreme hunger, World of Warcraft, photographers and music made by Avril Lavigne, has risen again to feast on innocent people. (a bit like Jews). You can protect yourself, however, by boning up on the essentials of zombie self-defense].
There are three different ways to tell if someone or something is a Zombie.
- Does it smell? Some Zombies are apparently dead and will therefore exude a vile smell similar to Christian Slater's breath.
- Is it dancing? As soon as the Moonwalk begins, RUN FOR IT!!
- Is it posing? Does it always return to the same stiff pose if you pull out a camera?
NO! You cannot determine if it is a zombie by blowing its brains out to see if it dies. Some zombies can live without their brains. e.g. Paris Hilton and Keith Olbermann.
Origins
No one knows for sure but sources within the North Korean government claims that their Dictator Kim Jong Il is the original Zombie dating back to sometime before 1975. That information is contradicted by the fact that they vainly claim he still is alive. Kim Jong is, however, a study in why it is important not to worship your leader, no matter how charismatic he may seem when he comes to power.
World of Warcraft zombies has an entirely different origin. They are manufactured by a company named Blizzard and are believed to be a part in a huge plot to conquer the world (of warcraft).
Characteristics
A typical zombie limps around trying to eat poeple's brains. Why? Well if you are THAT retarded I'll explain it to you. It is a simple matter of the physical laws of brain-eating. If they eat your brain they inherit all your knowledge, which apparently isn't much (if you are reading this article, that is) and they will limp on to the next victim. Superfast zombies are a myth fabricated by the British people to make them look cooler in 28 days Later.
